It is September 2nd 2019, the time is 9:30 PM. I am sitting on my couch after feeding my dog. King of the Hill plays on the TV. Another day passing by in the vastness that is the universe. Another day, gone. Deep down in the smallest cracks of my mind, exists little sparks endlessly … Continue reading Being in a creative dump
Imagine that, a block buster motion picture about a superhero or antihero struggling with Bipolar as he or she tries to save people from a serial killer or something. I’d love to see that one day. “You read it here first, so don’t steal my idea, unless of course it’s already been thought of, then … Continue reading Even if I had superpowers, I’d still be Bipolar.
Today is a shit filled day. I hate being around people when I’m dealing with something internally. I feel that cheat myself out of grossing time because I try to push my pain down, and be there for others, never dealing with my own pain. I hate being around people that only care about themselves. … Continue reading Sometimes I want to leave this planet. Sometimes I want to be like Dr. Manhattan.
It’s difficult to measure emotion vs logic in extremely emotional tense situations. Where is the line between over reacting to reacting just right? Is there some invisible way of noting how I shouldn’t and should feel? Let’s say I feel like my heart is broken. Which it is at the moment but let’s just say … Continue reading What is Truth? Is it real? Should it always be forgiven?
I hate when my depression kicks in out of nowhere without warning or reason. What the fuck am I supposed to say when my wife asks “what’s wrong?” And I have no clue. Which just makes the situation worse because the awkward silence implies my mood is directed at her or from her. In fact … Continue reading Feeling depressed/agitated today for NO fucking reason
"YOU GOT NOTHING TO SAY! YOUR WORDS ARE SHIT! THEY'LL THINK YOU'RE A DUMB DUMB! "Ibby's Paranoia written but not dictated. A lot of times I find it hard to express my opinions, my thoughts. Mostly due to the fact that my mind can never decided on what the fuck it wants to do. Right … Continue reading Negative thinking. Gotta STOP that
During When I start getting into a depressive phase, one of the first things I take for granted is grooming. I can go months upon months without touching it, or combing it sometimes depending on how far off the rails I am. I’ve gone to work looking like hot toilet garbage and I wouldn’t bat … Continue reading Yesterday I got a haircut, today I feel super fresh!
So now that I want to develop into a better version myself, but how do I even begin to do that? I started thinking about my day to day routine, more specifically how does my day start? And I noticed a pattern of bad habits so today I challenged myself to break that routine. This … Continue reading Go out for a walk
This is terrifying! I keep trying to wrap my brain around finding the best way, the perfect way to introduce you, dear reader, to my blog. I want to make one thing clear right of the bat. My whole life I've held back my voice, so much so that now in my adulthood, I find … Continue reading The hardest thing for me to do is introduce myself, but here we go… OMG HI!