What’s going on right now

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After surviving an NDE or near death experience I spent some time in a mental institution. Medical city behavior health of McKinney. This NDE was a direct effect to my cause, a failed suicide attempt six years ago. Spending time there was interesting, and at my departure about a week or so later; I was given a bunch of papers containing extremely useful information about trauma, PTSD, handling anxiety and staying grounded. Here’s the thing, I haven’t read it for the last six years. Most of the documents I tore and threw away, in what I thought was me “moving on.” Now, I wanna share some of the knowledge as I am newly being introduced to it.

Lately I’ve also been interested in the psychology of TV shows, anime, movies. By that I mean, the mental state of the characters. I’m hoping to start looking at this entertainment content more closely, review it based on specific characters and post the content on YouTube. Lately I’ve been watching this anime called 7 Seeds, and it is ripe with trauma, PTSD, low self esteem, and much more. There’s a specific character named Ango, whose gone through some tough shit. He’s clearly suffering from PTSD, and it causes him to be somewhat of a douche.

For the longest time I’ve never known how my mind works. There are so many thoughts rushing through all at once, I never get a chance to fully realize one. I can easily get caught up in a thousand ideas a day, and find it hard to make a decision. I’m trying to work on it, trying to be more decisive. Sometimes I wonder if it is due to my bipolar or if it’s just me. Every time I think of doing something, I doubt myself, I don’t believe in myself, I don’t work on my dreams and I let them die. I’m thinking it might be easier if I just don’t hold back, be myself and enjoy every second I can. Developing self is getting a YouTube channel on top of the t. I am super happy that everything I’m now currently doing is all focused on one nice. Mental health and wellness, I love focusing on it in my favorite shows, music, real life. I now have to find a way to express my creative side through it too.

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Recommendations for music and podcasts.

Music: Jaymes Young, Amber Run, Banners

Podcasts: Ken Coleman Show, Radical Empathy, Rise Podcast and most recently Straight up with Trent Shelton

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