Good morning, welcome to developing self; under this umbrella I have my podcast called Develop URself on spotify and apple podcast. My name is Ibra Mpiana and I’m very grateful you are taking the time out of your day to visit this page. A little about myself. I was born in Lusaka, Zambia and I’m a Taurus. I was the graduating valedictorian of my class. I dropped out of college twice now. It was not the place for me, I don’t think it ever will be, and it doesn’t have to be. This next part is still hard for me to express, but if I want this journey I’m on to become successful, vulnerability is key to success. Many people don’t know this about me, so it might come as a shock to you, but six years ago, I tried to take my own life, but the good Lord intervened and showed me I had a purpose, and voice to be on this world. The thing about mental illness is that it can be hard to spot, it can be difficult to express, and seemingly impossible to accept.
The strange thing, I didn’t even really know why I did it. There were plenty of things that were happening at the time that I could easily blame, and for a while I did. Throughout my entire life, I always kept things inwards, and it was to say I’m an introvert and blame that. Not a single person knew, not one, at least I never told anyone, about my depressed moments, my racing thoughts, my negative mindset, my pessimist nature, my delusional times, my manic moments, my dark thoughts, my low self esteem, and most importantly my lack of self worth.
What I later found out, almost two years ago now; The invisible enemy, my dark passenger, whom I’ve been battling since childhood had a name. I know you, I know you exist, I know what you’re about, I know your strengths, I know your weakness, I know you now! Because I know you, I can outlast you, I can out run you, I can out think you, I can stay in the ring as long as it takes, I can lock you up and choose when to let you out, I can control you. You no longer have control over me. I know your name, and it is Bipolar type 2. That’s when everything changed ya’ll. I made a choice, to change, to move forward, to develop myself into the best version of me possible.
I’m not there yet, I’m on the journey, the road is long but car is a magical beast filled with God’s love and grace, with a sprinkle of faith and ambition from me. I’m inviting you on this journey of discovery, of developing our selves. I have what you might call, a hero complex. I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE, I want to change the world. I want to help make people see that struggling is a choice, and we can come out of it. Circumstances of course make for extreme possibilities, but happiness can be chosen, self growth can be attained, self worth can be fueled. I never ever thought I could get to the point where I am now.
I haven’t conquered my Bipolar, I’m aware of it, and I’m aware that I can make certain moves to either dive deeper into my mental illness or climb my way out. Which ever choice I pick, I know it is up to me, so it makes for comebacks to be much easier and more pleasant. Thank you for reading if you got made it this far. I am super excited and very grateful to be going through this journey and to share it with anyone willing to listen. Subscribe to the Develop URself podcast on spotify and apple podcast. Share it with friends, with family members, If you have a message you would like to tell people, hit me up so I can interview you.