Thoughts & Beliefs

Being in a creative dump

It is September 2nd 2019, the time is 9:30 PM. I am sitting on my couch after feeding my dog. King of the Hill plays on the TV. Another day passing by in the vastness that is the universe. Another day, gone.

Deep down in the smallest cracks of my mind, exists little sparks endlessly seeking to catch. The past six months have been very rough, I imagine my life could easily fall into this trend of dying dreams.

It is a strange feeling, knowing that we’re not placed on this world for any reason. There is no grand design, no fate, no destiny. There’s no reason for sitting on the couch waiting for destiny. However, just because this might be so doesn’t mean we ought to abandon our faiths, our dreams, our lives.

Everyone loves video games so it might make things easier to talk in metaphors and similes. Life is like a video game, and each of us is a character. The difference between the two lies in the controllers. We are the characters and the controllers, with video games the two are separate entities, not even existing in the same space or dimension. Both do share extreme similarities, mainly in the reward and punishment sense.

Sometimes I feel like I want to be ten different people all at once. I want fame, fortune, a family, to be single, go back to school, invent the next big thing, leave this world, to have super powers, be the hero, be the villain. Being in a creative dump sucks, believe me I’ve been living in it for the past six months. There are so many times I tell myself to change, to apply myself like I use to , to be the person that’s yearning to come out, yet so many times I fail and fail again.

If you are also struggling creatively or mentally, and have thoughts of your own. Feel free to comment and share.

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